Starting the School Year Strong: A Student’s Perspective on Selective Mutism

By Shanti Swadia (SMA Student Advisory Board) & Taylor Hicks-Hoste (SMA President)

August 2026

Dear SMA Community,

With a new school year fast approaching, many families and teachers are preparing to help students with SM transition back to school. Collaboration between parents/caregivers and teachers is often a key ingredient, in terms of helping students grow towards their brave talking goals. What is also important–and sometimes missed–is direct input from the students, themselves. This includes gathering their insight about what goals feel most important to them, the next steps they’re willing to try, and the level/type of support they think they’ll need.

Shanti, a member of SMA’s Student Advisory Board, offers insight into her own personal experiences growing up as a student with SM. While every student’s SM journey is unique, her experiences exemplify the powerful role teachers can play for youth with SM, and some tips educators can consider adopting as they begin a new school year.

What do you wish teachers understood about selective mutism that many people misunderstand?

For me, one of the biggest misconceptions is that selective mutism is simply shyness or that the child is choosing not to speak. Throughout elementary school, I was sometimes labeled as obstinate or uncooperative, but I was never choosing to be silent. I was actually extremely anxious to the point that it felt overwhelming, even when I desperately wanted to participate. When teachers assume that a student is being defiant, it can prevent them from recognizing what’s really happening beneath the surface. I also think it’s important to remember that no two students with selective mutism experience it exactly the same way. Every child has a different set of challenges, so keeping an open mind and avoiding assumptions can make a huge difference.

When you think about your younger self, what support do you wish you had received earlier?

I wish there had been more awareness of selective mutism among school staff in general. When teachers understand the condition, they’re better equipped to support students in ways that actually reduce anxiety instead of unintentionally increasing it. I also wish I’d had more one-on-one time with my teachers. Looking back, many of the louder, more outgoing students naturally received more attention because they participated more. Having opportunities to spend time with my teacher before class or in a quieter setting would have helped me feel safer and build trust. Without that relationship with the teacher, walking into the classroom every day felt much more intimidating.

If every teacher in the country could hear one thing from students with selective mutism, what would you want them to know?

I would want teachers to approach quiet students with curiosity instead of assuming they know who the child is. I think they should be patient, supportive, and open-minded, because you never know what a child may be struggling with internally. Even when teachers don’t explicitly say what they’re thinking, students with selective mutism often pick up on their body language, tone, and overall attitude. Those subtle signals can shape whether the classroom feels like a safe place or a source of anxiety for them. I’d also encourage teachers to think carefully about the language they use when talking about students with selective mutism, whether they’re speaking directly to the student or discussing them with parents, colleagues, or classmates. I believe that those words matter more than people realize.

Can you remember a teacher who helped you feel comfortable? What did they do?

My third-grade homeroom teacher made a lasting impact on me. By third grade, I had become much more aware of my anxiety, and her approach felt noticeably different from many of my previous teachers. She was consistently patient, kind, and approachable, and she always took time to answer my questions without making me feel pressured. One of the things that helped the most was that she spent a few minutes talking with me before school each morning. Those conversations helped build a relationship with her without the pressure of a full classroom of students watching me. The extra time helped me feel comfortable enough to gradually feel more comfortable participating during the school day.

Were there approaches teachers used that made things harder, even if they had good intentions?

Yes, I think one thing that often made me uncomfortable was when a teacher celebrated my first spoken words in front of the entire class. I understand why teachers do it – they’re excited and want to recognize my progress – but for many students with selective mutism, that much attention can actually make speaking feel even more stressful the next time. I also found direct eye contact difficult. Sometimes more casual eye contact or simply looking away while talking helped reduce the pressure. Another challenge was being asked why I wasn’t talking. Although those questions usually came from good intentions and a place of concern, they only made me more aware of my anxiety in that moment rather than helping me speak.

What can teachers do to help peers understand and support their classmate with SM?

I think one of the most important things is helping classmates find the right balance between including a student with selective mutism while also respecting their comfort level. Pairing students with a supportive buddy during activities or recess can make social situations feel much less overwhelming. Teachers can also model how to be a good friend by encouraging classmates to be patient and not pressure someone to speak unless they’re ready. Most importantly, selective mutism should never be viewed or presented as something “wrong” with the student. Instead, I think teachers can acknowledge that everyone has different strengths and challenges while teaching them empathy, kindness, and inclusion. That creates a classroom culture where children with selective mutism feel accepted.

Next step tips for teachers rolling into this upcoming year

As the new school year begins, I’d encourage teachers to learn as much as they can about selective mutism and the strategies that best support students. Even small misunderstandings can unintentionally make overcoming SM more difficult for both the student and the teacher. At the same time, it’s important to remember that no one is expected to be perfect. Supporting a student with selective mutism is a learning process, and what matters most is treating the student with patience, kindness, and compassion. Those qualities always leave a much greater impact on the student and their classmates.

SMA is so grateful for our educator partners and all the work they do on behalf of students and families. SMA offers many resources specifically geared towards educators, including the free Educator’s Toolkit and previously recorded webinars on a wide variety of topics. Also, check out the Educator’s webcourse. For 20% off your Educator’s webcourse purchase, use code Back2School (valid through 9/30/26).

Sincerely,
Shanti Swadia
SMA Student Advisory Board Member

Taylor Hicks-Hoste, Ph.D.
SMA President