The Importance of Extracurricular Activities for Children and Teens with Selective Mutism

April 2026

Dear Selective Mutism Community,

Participation in extracurricular and socially enriching activities plays an important role in the emotional, social, and developmental growth of children and teens. Research consistently shows that involvement in organized activities is associated with better mental health outcomes, including greater life satisfaction, increased optimism, and lower levels of anxiety and depression. These experiences also promote self-esteem, resilience, and a sense of belonging, while helping youth build relationships outside of the classroom.

Extracurricular activities provide valuable opportunities for young people to explore interests, develop skills, and experience growth over time. Learning something new often comes with initial discomfort or uncertainty. However, when youth persist through these early challenges, they build important life skills such as patience, perseverance, and confidence in their ability to handle difficult situations. As they improve, they often experience a sense of pride and accomplishment that strengthens self-esteem.

For youth with Selective Mutism (SM) and Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), extracurricular activities can offer additional therapeutic benefits. These settings create natural opportunities to practice communication and other “brave behaviors” in environments beyond home and school. Through participation, youth can gradually expand the range of people and situations in which they feel comfortable interacting. Over time, these experiences support increased independence, social confidence, and identity development—especially when an activity becomes a meaningful interest or passion.

Special Considerations for Youth with Selective Mutism
While extracurricular involvement can be highly beneficial, thoughtful planning is often necessary when supporting children and teens with SM or social anxiety. Because these conditions are rooted in anxiety, youth may feel strong urges to avoid situations that feel unfamiliar, unpredictable, or socially demanding.

Children and teens may resist participation for a variety of reasons. Common concerns include not knowing anyone, fear of being called on to speak, worries about feeling awkward, or doubts about their abilities. Some youth may express disinterest in all activities, when in reality anxiety is limiting their willingness to try something new.

Parents often struggle with how much to encourage participation when their child is resistant. Finding the right balance between validating anxiety and promoting healthy exposure to social experiences can feel challenging. The following strategies can help guide parents in supporting their child’s involvement.

Validate and Empathize with Anxiety
Youth are more open to trying new experiences when they feel understood. Begin by acknowledging your child’s feelings and reflecting their concerns. Validation communicates that you recognize their anxiety without reinforcing avoidance.

For example:
“I hear that you’re worried you won’t know anyone and that it might feel awkward. That makes a lot of sense, and it sounds really uncomfortable.”

When youth feel heard, they are more likely to engage in problem-solving and consider next steps.

Communicate Clear and Compassionate Expectations
In addition to empathy, it is helpful to communicate clear expectations around participation. Many families find it useful to frame extracurricular involvement as a normal and important part of growing up.

For example:
“I know this feels hard, and I believe you can handle it. In our family, we expect everyone to participate in at least one activity because it helps you grow and build confidence.”

This approach reinforces both support and belief in the child’s ability to cope with discomfort.

Collaborate on a Plan
Working together to create a plan can make starting a new activity feel more manageable. Breaking the process into smaller, achievable steps helps reduce anxiety and increases a sense of control.

Helpful strategies may include:
• Visiting the location ahead of time
• Observing a class or practice before joining
• Meeting the instructor or coach in advance
• Arriving early to get comfortable with the environment
• Starting with shorter participation periods
• Practicing introductions or interactions at home
• Joining with a friend when possible
• Choosing activities that allow for quieter participation (e.g., art, music, robotics)
• Selecting beginner-level programs where everyone is learning

Involving your child in these decisions increases their investment and confidence.

Support Persistence
Starting an activity is only the first step, continuing participation is equally important. Youth with SM or social anxiety may experience ups and downs as they adjust to new environments.

Parents can support persistence by maintaining open communication, discussing challenges, and problem-solving together. When appropriate, sharing helpful strategies with instructors or coaches (with the child’s permission) can also support success.

Focus on reinforcing effort rather than performance. Praise small but meaningful steps, such as attending regularly, making eye contact, or attempting to communicate. Encourage gradual goals, like greeting a coach or participating briefly in a group interaction.

It is also important not to abandon an activity after one difficult experience. Supporting your child in working through challenges helps build resilience and confidence over time.

Maintaining Balance
While extracurricular activities offer many benefits, balance is essential. Many children and teens with anxiety need time to recharge after social interactions.
A healthy schedule should include both structured activities and unstructured downtime. Quiet, restorative activities, such as drawing, reading, journaling, crafting, or gaming, can help regulate emotions and reduce stress.

When youth have opportunities to recharge, they are often better able to manage the social and emotional demands of extracurricular involvement.

Final Thoughts
Extracurricular activities can be powerful tools for growth in children and teens with selective mutism. They provide opportunities to practice bravery, develop new skills, and build confidence in social settings. With thoughtful planning, supportive guidance, and gradual exposure, these experiences can help youth expand their comfort zones and strengthen their sense of independence and identity.

Progress may occur in small steps such as attending practice, participating in part of an activity, or briefly interacting with peers. With patience and consistent support, these moments can become meaningful building blocks toward greater confidence, resilience, and connection.

Sincerely,
Veronica Raggi, Ph.D.
SMA Board of Directors