Yes, I remember your question quite well. I do not know your child, so I cannot say for sure whether her ‘lack of toilet training’ warrants medication. I do recommend that your treating professional work with you to figure out WHY she is not training. A question I have is, is she trained at home? If she REFUSES to go at home, there is more than just ‘SHY BLADDER/BOWEL syndrome.’ Again, I have not evaluated her, but believe that anxiety and constant attention (from others) about her TRAINING is making her more anxious.
A suggestion I have, is to lay low with the training for now. STOP talking about it for some time. If there is not a medical reason why she is not controlling her bowels/bladder you might want to just ‘let it go’ for a bit. Trust me, she will TRAIN when she sees others are not wearing diapers and going in their pants. She will not want to be embarrassed. Your constant attention to this is only making her more anxious. That is why I say to let it go for a bit and she how she does. My opinion is that when PRESSURE and ATTENTION is gone, she will train.
Our SM kids are quite controlling with their fears and anxieties. For whatever reason training has become a control issue (within herself) and she cannot seem to let it go. I recommend that you get therapy JUST for this. Dealing with SM is one thing, but this late of training is another issue.
YES, I believe medication would help her tremendously. However, it is your choice.
Dr. Elisa Shipon-Blum