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Summer Plans for Children with SM
May 19, 20089 Expert Chat Session archived transcript.
| smgexpert | 20:52:18 | Hello, This is Dr. Vera Joffe. I am glad to be available to talk to all of you tonight. I understand that we have a large group (at least 37 people). I am so glad that you all enrolled, and that we will have a good chance to discuss important elements and issues as well as strengths and shared experiences that may help many families. |
| smgexpert | 20:54:00 | I would like to inform you that due to ethical and professional reasons, I do not make specific recommendations via the Expert Chat nor via the Internet. I will talk about SM and situations for summer and school (and anything else that I may be able to answer to parents and other people) to the best of my ability and knowledge based on research that I reviewed, and continue to study from all over the world. |
| smgexpert | 20:55:08 | Unfortunately, we still do not have enough empirically-based research to allow us, clinicians and researchers, to make suggestions with a high degree of certainty. However, researchers and clinicians around the country and in other countries are working really hard on it. |
| jrfernald | 20:56:52 | Hello Dr. Joffe. I will begin in a few minutes. |
| smgexpert | 20:57:16 | In the meantime, we will discuss what has worked for many different centers who have had several cases, and in some of the centers, thousands of them. So, please, ask your questions, and I hope I will be able to answer them to the best of my knowledge. You can email me if you do not get a chance to ask a question given the high number of people in this session: you can go to the website www.verajoffe.com and then enter in the email and I will answer your general questions if they do not get to be answered in this chat. |
| jrfernald | 20:59:53 | Welcome to our expert chat, “Summer Plans for Kids with SM”. We will begin shortly. |
| smgexpert | 21:00:14 | Hello, how are you, Joleen? I want to thank you, and SM Organization for giving me this opportunity. I also want to thank Dr. Shipon-Blum for her incredible work in the area, and in helping in educating the general population more and more about SM, along with the SM Organization. I also want to dedicate this talk to a few families that I have been working with more recently, from whom I have learned a great deal, and who have given me more reason to continue to work with SM, to study, and to try to provide the best possible treatment for SM. Most of all, we all need to work on prevention, education to teachers, parents, and physicians (such as doctors) about SM so that we do not wait too long a time to recognize and to treat SM. |
| smgexpert | 21:00:33 | I will now wait for questions from the pannel. |
| mercym21 | 21:01:14 | are we the pannel? |
| jrfernald | 21:01:16 | Thanks, Dr. Joffe. I am going to wait another minute to begin as we are expecting quite a few participants. |
| smgexpert | 21:01:56 | If I continue to type, will the participants be able to read later, or even in a few moments? |
| jrfernald | 21:02:15 | Yes, participants can read anything posted.Our expert for this evening is Dr. Vera Joffe, a psychologist who practices in Florida. |
| smgexpert | 21:02:16 | I could start answering some of the questions you have in the email, if you wish. |
| jrfernald | 21:02:29 | I will introduce you! |
| smgexpert | 21:02:40 | thank you |
| jrfernald | 21:02:40 | The rules for the chat room are posted on our website. To save time, I will not post all of them here tonight… just a couple of reminders: |
| jrfernald | 21:02:51 | Be respectful, let the expert type in an answer to a question before asking another, please do not advertise your business here without prior permission. |
| jrfernald | 21:03:02 | Thank you, Dr. Joffe. I am sure some of the attendees have lots of questions, but perhaps you could begin by sharing whether children with SM should participate in camp programs or stay home? |
| smgexpert | 21:04:10 | Thank you for your question. Of course, we need to think of one child at a time. Participation in camp depends on many variables. One of the important factors about summer camp is: Is your child familiar with the camp? Many children go to summer camp on the same campus as their school |
| smgexpert | 21:04:39 | and this may be helpful for them. On the other hand, one should not assume that the campus will "feel" the same to your child with SM is if "looks" the same. |
| smgexpert | 21:05:08 | Your child may be comfortable with her/his teacher, a staff member, or children who may not be at camp (day camp) during the summer. |
| smgexpert | 21:05:47 | In addition, summer camp is a lot less structured than school. Some children with SM may have difficulty with less structure, and with activities that may demand them to use more verbal communication. |
| smgexpert | 21:06:51 | So, the answer is: of course it would be helpful for children with SM to have experience at camp, and to be just like any other child who goes to camp. However, we need to work on prevention and in contacting the staff, director, and others at camp to help the transition to a new experience be less stressful, and as smooth as possible for your child. |
| smgexpert | 21:07:21 | Educating the staff at camp is important, and if you know who the counselor will be, let your child spend some time with that person at camp "preparation" before camp starts. |
| smgexpert | 21:07:35 | The first day of camp may be very noisy, overwhelming and chaotic for some kids. |
| jlynch | 21:08:17 | Thank you for your time, Dr. Joffe. My 9-year old SM son's challenge is primarily with adults - he has only spoken to 1 teacher at his school. We tutor with her over the summer. Do you have any recommendations as to how best to keep the progress made over the school year going so that the new year isn't so difficult? |
| jrfernald | 21:08:21 | Thank you... I will open the chat to our participants to ask their questions. |
| smgexpert | 21:08:42 | You also need to take into account the age of the child we are speaking about. Different levels of developmental stages require different approaches to "prevention" and to making decisions about what camp to go to, and for how long, how many hours, etc. |
| smgexpert | 21:11:51 | Hello, JLYNCH, thank you for your answer. I am pleased that your son displayed verbal communication with one teacher this year. I would like to find out about his level of social communication with other teachers and adults in the school. It would be great if your son could go to school before it starts to meet his new teacher next academic year, and spend some time with that person. If you read my book (Sophie's Story), you will see the recommendations for meeting with the teacher one week before to develop a rapport. It would be good to find out what your son likes that the teacher could relate to. One child liked dogs, so he met the teacher's dog before the year started. Another child loved doing art work, so she went to the classroom to "help" the teacher put decorations for the new year. The important point is to EDUCATE the teachers and school staff about SM and to make sure they all know that your child may not speak due to social-communication anxiety, and not because he is defiant, or something else. |
| smgexpert | 21:13:32 | In addition, I am not sure if your son has an IEP at school or not, but this is something to discuss with the ESE at his school so that they can start the process of developing a strategy to not only implement "informally" accommodations, but to also have it in paper to facilitate communication among professionals and parents, and also to ensure that whatever your son needs due to the SM (which is a disability) he will be given in order to feel more comfortable at school. |
| smgexpert | 21:13:53 | what do you think of that? |
| juddanti | 21:14:12 | Hello Dr.Joffe, My SM son will be going to summer school for the first time.He has never talked in the school during his school year, so how should I prepare him and the new teacher in summer school. |
| jlynch | 21:14:31 | Thank you, Dr. Joffe. I send a letter to all prospective teachers and meet with the principal to discuss needs and have input into selections. He does have an IEP and it has worked well for us so far. We do meet the teacher pripr to the school year and help 'set up' the classroom. |
| smgexpert | 21:16:24 | Hello, "JUddanti". I am surpresed that there are still children in our country who are going to summer school, as we do not have them as much in FL anymore. I would say that the preparation should be the same: talk to the principal, the summer school teacher, and review the IEP (if he has one), and educate teachers. Sending teachers, counselors, and others to this website can only help. I have seen school staff be very grateful when they receive a package of information from parents, and the information from this website and org is great! |
| juddanti | 21:18:30 | Thank you Dr. Joffe for your answer. I am sorry but could you tell what is IEP ? |
| smgexpert | 21:19:09 | While I wait for other questions, I would like to say a little bit more about summer camp: If your child has a lot of anxiety about other conditions as well (such as bathroom use, and eating, as well as sensitivity to heat, cold, water, touch, and noise), make sure you take all these factors into consideration when making decisions about camp. One of your goals during summer may be to expose your child to social situations that are more relaxed for your child, and that will not make your child upset about some of the above situations, such as noise. |
| azolfghr | 21:19:34 | Hello Dr. Joffe. My son is 7 years old and hasn't spoken to the teacher or any kids in his class this year. He had done great progress the last school year and regressed a lot over the last summer. I am looking for tips on how to keep him going on his improvements over this summer. |
| smgexpert | 21:20:15 | So, if your child does not have such well developed gross motor skills and likes arts more, maybe a smaller camp focused on arts may be more comfortable. at the same time, focus on developing gross motor in other activity, such as swimming. |
| mercym21 | 21:20:34 | Dr. Joffe. My 5 year old daughter will start kindergarten in August, and tomorrow she will be given a verbal language test and I was told by the school that if she doesn’t speak she will be put with the students who speak only Spanish. Do you think this is the correct action to take by the school? |
| jrfernald | 21:22:23 | Please remember to allow Dr. Joffe ample time to answer one person's question before posting another. I believe there are currently three questions presented right now. |
| smgexpert | 21:22:55 | Hello, Azolghr: How are you? It sounds like your son demonstrated less social communication this last year than the year before. I would want to find out the difference in classroom, teacher's approach, knowledge of the situation, and other factors. It would be great if you could prepare in advance for your son to meet next year's teacher. I already talked about how to do this before tonight and you can go to my book (in my website) to find out more about how to prepare for next year. Let me know if you need more specific information. We want to be improving the levels of social communication, and to decrease the levels of social anxiety, not regress. But this can happen, and do not become discouraged because it can be worked as a team, and start the team work early, ok? i hope i can answer more of your question. |
| smgexpert | 21:27:09 | mercym21: Oh, no! It breaks my heart when I hear that a child with SM is going to a new school to take a "verbal language" test. What will they be testing? It is possible that they do not know that your child has SM, and if they do not have the knowledge about SM, send them to the website, and you can receive any support from any of us in providing information and somewhat helping you with demonstrating that children with SM can only be assessed for verbal language (is this speech and language?_ by someone who they feel comfortable with, and have free communication with. SM is a social-communication anxiety disorder, and one cannot test a child for speech and language in this very stressful situation. I do not know what JoLeen would say about this situation, but I would not let the child go to school for this purpose, and I would go to the school to clarify the situation. So, take information, and let me, Joleen, or anyone in the SM org (professional board and others) know how you can receive further help for this situation. |
| smgexpert | 21:28:09 | If you have any other questions, you are welcome to email me. Please, refer the school staff to this website for clarification. |
| juddanti | 21:28:31 | Hello Dr. Joffe. In order to prepare for his next school year what are the qualities that I should be looking for in his teacher. |
| jrfernald | 21:29:40 | I would be happy to respond to emails about speech and language assessments and children with SM. My contact information can be found on the SMG site. |
| Team_AEB | 21:30:52 | Dr Joffe, how do you recommend that parents explain SM to a child's playmates or their parents? (8 yr olds) |
| smgexpert | 21:30:55 | THis is a very good question. I wish I could tell you that there is an "ideal profile" for a teacher who has a child with SM in her class, but there isn't research in this area to substantiate any suggestion. HOwever, you can observe the kinds of adults that your child responds better to. Your child does not necessarily have to verbally communicate with people to feel comfortable with them, but just make a list of the people that look most comfortable for your child. In addition, we know that education is really important, and educating the teacher for next year is a must. ALso, if a teacher is too rigid, and cannot adjust situations for children, then it may be a problem. |
| smgexpert | 21:33:07 | There are some children who do better with a calmer teacher, and I think that one could assume that children with anxiety respond better to teachers that are less noisy, calmer, but who also provide structure and an environment that the child can feel safe because it is predictable. Children with anxiety have a hard time not knowing "what's going to happen" and I would assume that if your child has SM, the element of anxiety has a role there. Is this helpful? You may want to observe the classes (and teachers) before school is over to get a "feeling" of their personality, and how they conduct their classroom. However, asking the ESE about this is also a good idea because they know all the teachers, and they will be helpful. |
| mercym21 | 21:35:29 | They want to know if she knows and understands the english language since in the application for school I stated she also spoke spanish. The lady who will be doing the test said the teacher knows how to handle situation that will help the child to speak. |
| azolfghr | 21:36:38 | What is your website url? |
| Mopresto | 21:36:47 | Hello Dr Joffe: My daughter is almost 4 and diagnosed with SM when she just turned three. We have made great strides with talk therapy and she was able to attend part time nursery school. She had some difficulty with talking to peers and the school recommended a more structured language enrichment camp to assist with scaffolding her conversation, despite the fact that she has no S/L difficulties. She will be the only girl and she has had difficulty with being around boys at times. Additionally she has had a setback lately with a male assistant who will be teaching in camp next to hers and may overlap by 10 min.This presence of this male has her not wanting to attend school and I am nervous about the camp. The school is aware of her SM and she is in therapy with the head of the school, so the teachers have been accomadating. But I am worried about the male piece of all this and wonder if I should give her a break or attempt the camp. |
| smgexpert | 21:37:35 | AEB: this is also an amazing question. I love the questions your are all asking. Again, "it depends". It depends on the age of the child. The younger the child, the easier it is to provide an environment to facilitate the conversation with parents, and with their children. You may want to invite the parent for coffee, or to meet for ice-cream after school one day. Take the children for ice-cream, and then you can talk to the parent a little about SM. If your child likes one playmate, invite them over to your house. The more you expose your child to various situations, people, and activities with children that they may feel more comfortable, the more likely it will be that they will generalize to other people and to other situations. For instance, if you invite the playmate to your house, and your child is more comfortable (even nonverbally) in front of that playmate's parent (when she was not before), then you are one step towards the "bridge of social communication" (as Dr. Blum describes in her books). |
| smgexpert | 21:40:05 | I am losing some of the questions due to my very long answers.. I am sorry. I just read a question about a preschooler who was recommended to attend a language based camp. If the staff knows about SM, and they have been trained, it's a good point. If, however, your child is afraid to be among boys only, this is another factor to take into account. Some speech and language enrichment (or remedial) programs require a child to use language all the time, and more. Examples are the programs for children with autism, who use many communcation devices to increase communication, no matter what. Thus, I cannot comment on the recommendation that was made for you unless I know exactly the type of camp/summer school for your child. |
| smgexpert | 21:41:38 | And let me go back to another question about S/L assessment.The focus of the interventions, accommodations at start are to help your child be more socially comfortable and less anxious in the beginning of school, or of camp this summer. There are many children with SM who do have speech and language difficulties, despite previous beliefs. |
| smgexpert | 21:42:39 | I am ready for more questions now. |
| juddanti | 21:42:44 | Hello Dr. Joffe. I am planning to put my SM son in other group activities like swimming , art classes in summer. Would be this be a good idea ? He is usually not comfortable being around new kids and adults. |
| Mopresto | 21:43:17 | The language based camp is for children who are normally developing who have mild S/L issues. No one with autism would be in this emvironment. |
| Joseph | 21:44:28 | Are you having technical problems? |
| smgexpert | 21:44:36 | Juddanti: Why don't you pick one thing at a time with him. See how many kids will be in each of these activities, and find out if he can meet anyone (and the counselor) beforehand. You do not need to overwhelm him with one thing and another, but you can expose him to something he likes, where he can feel more comfortable, and where at the start he may not need so much verbal communication in order to do what the campers will do (although we always need that skill for everything, don't we? and this is why it's so hard on the kids). |
| smgexpert | 21:45:25 | No, I am not having technical problems. I am fine. I am just so delighted to receive wonderful questions, and I am answering them in a longer version because I am sure other parents can benefit from the answers as they may have similar issues as well. Thank you Joseph. |
| lrichardson | 21:45:37 | My daughter is 7 years old and will be in second grade next year. She regressed tremendously in kindergarten because of her teacher's lack of cooperation. Her teacher in first grade has been wonderful and she is making incredible progress even though she has not spoken to the teacher this year. I am nervous about next year because of the teacher choices. One choice is a job-share (one teacher teaches 4 days and the other teaches one day) and I hear she is very strict and firm. The other teacher knows my daughter outside of school because our daughters are in the same girl scout troop. My daughter talks freely at girl scouts and has spoken to the teacher outside of school on various occasions but I hear her classroom is very chaotic and I am worried about regression next year. I feel there isn't much of a choice for next year but I do feel she would be more comfortable with the teacher she knows. Any comments? |
| smgexpert | 21:49:47 | Very good question, IRICHARDSON: Of course, your daughter has one advantage in terms of feeling comfortable and having verbally communicated with one of the teachers. How does your daughter do in a less structured, more chaotic situation? Many kids do very well with chaos, such as gifted kids, and others. If she had regression before: why was it? Because of the structure of the class, or because he teacher was too strict? So, it sounds like you have a good choice to make. And remember: Nothing is for sure right or wrong. You are all trying really hard as parents to help your children, and this is great. They know this, and appreciate you delegating for them, and educating their teachers. So, go for your choice and request, and trust that your opinion and feeling are the best that you can tell. And allow yourself to make mistakes. Your children with SM need to know that you feel comfortable with making mistakes because some of them are very worried about being perfect, and not making mistakes. Anyone can relate to that? |
| smgexpert | 21:50:09 | somebody asked for my website. It's www.verajoffe.com |
| jrfernald | 21:50:27 | We have ten minutes left for this evening's chat. |
| mercym21 | 21:50:42 | Are there any book recommendations that explain how parents could help SM children? I would like to know if there are certain activities or situations that will help my daughter speak at school. |
| smgexpert | 21:50:55 | You can go to email if you want, and email me. I know someone asked about what an IEP is, and I will be glad to answer your question. In addition, you will find some answer in the website. Please, email me this question as it is very important you know about your child's rights. |
| juddanti | 21:51:31 | Hello Dr. Joffe. I volunteer for a couple of hours in my SM son's school every week. Any suggestions on how I can help him in his school to make him less anxious. |
| smgexpert | 21:52:11 | Good question, mercym21. Of course, Dr. Shipon-Blum has several books, DVD's and the SM org has a list of books. I would love for you to also read the book I wrote (it's in my website and on Amazon). Activities: If your child does something she likes, she is more likely to be more comfortable. |
| jrfernald | 21:52:24 | SMG has an online bookstore full of a variety of materials. The link is: http://www.selectivemutism.org/resources/bookstore-member |
| Mopresto | 21:52:31 | Any thoughts on types of schools that are better for SM kids? Is private with smaller class size better? |
| jlion1 | 21:53:06 | Hello Dr Joffe! My 7 years old daughter was talking freely in all locations with kids except in school environment before this past summer. One day in June 2008, she woke up from a nap, sunddenly stopped talking to anyone in any place even with us (mom & dad). She had whispered to us for more than 3 months. one day, she got very angry with her dad, and she yelled at him with her loud voice. SO now is talking to us freely but still she won't speak to anyone else even her best friends. Could you tell me what made that happen and how we can prevent it in the future? |
| azolfghr | 21:53:16 | If I get my son to talk to his next year's teacher without my son knowing that that will be his teacher... do you think that could help with him being more confortable or it might have the opposite affect? |
| azolfghr | 21:54:08 | I meant effect... |
| FrozN | 21:55:03 | Hi Dr. Joffe. We are having difficulties with our school and being on board with us in regards to helping our 6 y.o. daughter with her anxiety and SM. They keep telling us they believe this is a phase and she will out grow it even though we have supplied them with info from this website and our psychiatrist has also given them suggestions. Our options are limited in regards to moving schools as we live in a rural area. What are your thoughts about home schooling? |
| smgexpert | 21:55:52 | hello, as I said in the beginning, i cannot figure out what happens to a child by just talking via internet, and on chat. It would be unprofessional to comment and to make interpretations and recommendations. So, please, if you want further clarification, find out who can help you locally. There are many reasons why this may have happened, and I agree with you that this should be addressed. It is quite possible that it would not be just the "nightmare", but you need to figure it out with an appropriate mental health and with a medical professional as well. |
| jrfernald | 21:57:46 | Thank you all for your wonderful questions. Dr. Joffe, we have about 3 minutes remaining. If participants were unable to receive an answer to your questions, please contact Dr. Joffe through her website as was previously mentioned. |
| smgexpert | 21:57:58 | I am not in favor of homeschooling as school is just not for learning to read, write, etc. It's to learn about life, and to be social, and to develop the skills to survive in society where we need to communicate and be in contact with other people. SM is a disability, and it is Federal Law that if a child has a disability, he/she has the right to receive services, and accommodations, and changes in the curriculum in order to help her/him feel more comfortable and to learn and function at school. Please, read the IDEA (you can find info here and also in other sites, such as CHADD). Become prepared, and get help from SM org. They are wonderful |
| smgexpert | 21:58:49 | I want to thank you all for your questions, and Joleen for this wonderful opportunity to chat with all of you. I learned a lot from all of you, and if you have further questions, please, email me at the website www.verajoffe.com |
| jrfernald | 21:58:54 | Dr. Joffe, thank you so much for volunteering for the chat. Your information has been very helpful. |
| smgexpert | 21:59:17 | Also, if there are any people from Florida, please, contact me because I would like to have a meeting (support and information) during the summer, if you all want. |
| jrfernald | 21:59:37 | SMG is having a number of expert chats. Please check the website for the most up to date information regarding SM. Have a great night! |
| smgexpert | 21:59:37 | Thank you for your great work with SM org! |
| jlynch | 21:59:55 | Thank you for your advice and comments, Dr. Joffee, and thank you SMG - always a wealth of information! |
| jrfernald | 21:59:58 | You are welcome. |
| jrfernald | 22:00:57 | A copy of the transcript from tonight's chat will be available for review in the next week. |
| smgexpert | 22:03:26 | thank you. |